哈欠吟者在伯林艮晒太阳时的哼哼唧唧: 今日意

猜猜这是哪儿

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 23:07:01 GMT

中国的窗口

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:44:33 GMT

上午去了趟三藩的中国领馆办事。虽然上次蛋黄去过之后已经大肆赞扬了一番，还是惊喜不小。整个领馆整洁有序，布局设施合理专业，工作人员彬彬有礼。连门口的法轮功摊子都没怎么烦扰。除了进门时那个白人小警察有点鸟兮兮的，整个办事过程不仅顺利，简直可以说愉快。把“愉快”两个字跟中国领馆放在一句话里，在五年前，甚至两年前，都是不可想象的。如果说领馆是世界看中国的窗口，三藩这扇窗几乎无可挑剔。难道真是闹运会奥的？我更愿意相信这是“经济推制度，制度晋文化”的过程在起作用。中国人受世人尊敬的一天，也许没那么遥远了？

你说你都忙什么？

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:28:51 GMT

朋友来信质问：“你说你都忙什么？书也没空看，博也没空写。”呸，信我也没空回！

要问忙些什么，我是答不出来的。只有我的To Do List才知道。一个List写满了就再开一个。今儿刚又开了个新的。上面只有3条：

1. 处理Outlook To Do List
2. 处理Google Calendar
3. 处理Remember the Milk To Do List

要不怎么说抽象和简化是现代生活的精髓呢。归档就更重要啦。当我的Google Reader未读项数停止统计，只显示1000+的时候，我会大鼠一挥，“全部标为已读”。

虱子多了不痒的秘技，我略知一二。

放得下吗？放下工作虽然难，总还做得到。难的是放下自己那点小追求。养家糊口之余，还老想着要形而上，才是真累。无边无沿，没歇没落的。有时候，真不能把人生啊理想啊爱情啊什么的太当回事。

放假，是扒在我家衣柜上，看我那只蓝蓝的小斗鱼吞食。

哪怕就五分钟。

远程、虚拟、饥饿的浪漫

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 22:47:18 GMT

借用人渣的句式：对蛋黄而言，浪漫的要点是能看到咖啡馆里来来往往的人；对我而言，浪漫的要点是在陪蛋黄浪漫的同时能不耽误工作。当中午我背着laptop跟蛋黄在Peets Coffee坐下的时候，我突然意识到，浪漫是要付出努力的：我今天的工作只能在家里desktop的Linux上做。

一小时之后，浪漫基本成功。其要点的要点如下：
在Fedora Linux laptop上用VMWare虚拟机运行Windows;
在Windows下用Logmein远程连接家里的Windows desktop;
在家里的Windows desktop上用VMWare虚拟机运行CentOS Linux。

在这个远程的虚拟的世界里，我浪漫得有声有色，geeky得理直气壮。唯一的问题是，4个小时之后，一种既不远程也不虚拟的饥饿淹没了我。看着蛋黄浪漫已毕，埋头工作，我把一切希望寄托在了她能在我饿死之前看到这篇blog上...

留给百姓吧

Sat, 24 May 2008 15:42:35 GMT

网上流传一篇仿史记体的《货殖列传•王石》，是骂王石灾后捐款诸事的。事情的来龙去脉我并不了解，也无从判断真伪。但文章写得不错，作者是个有古文修养的。其中几句话算得上掷地有声，作者也应该是个有气血的。只是，细读下面这两段。

“洪朝五十九年四月初八，川中汶川大震，祸及数百里，灾民不绝于道，号呼动于天地，举国哀悼。庙堂之上者，引车卖浆之下者，富商巨贾，黎民百姓，无不慷慨解囊，热血相助，中华竟因此隐隐而有复兴之象焉。

“石放言曰，灾为常态，所属仆从人捐十文可也，多捐则为负担矣。言一出，闻者无不大哗，继而责之以义。石于其博客舌辩之，不逞，遂闭其言路，不纳众人。四月十二日，御驾亲赴川中救灾，忽有闻，石已通工部侍郎及川道相关员，言谈间已定灾后商计矣。”

无论我横着读竖着读，读到“御驾”这两个字，总觉得一口气哽住了，顺不过来。文字游戏背后，酸腐之气犹存。中华复兴，为什么非要有个皇上，一个人造神，在那里撑腰壮胆？中华民族的脊梁，跪久了，不会站着用了吗？我当然理解leadership对一个民族的重要性。但这场苦难归根结底是老百姓在承受。把组织救援慰问的功劳留给领导，生命战胜苦难的一点荣光，就留给百姓吧。

今天，三藩可以为自己骄傲

Fri, 16 May 2008 14:48:49 GMT

祝贺加州同性恋朋友们获得合法婚姻的权利。

地震捐款 (Sichuan Earthquake Donation)

Tue, 13 May 2008 22:00:58 GMT

在美国的朋友可以在这里（http://tsinghuafoundation.org/earthquake08/index.html）捐款帮助救灾（谢谢皮皮提供信息）。他们接受Paypal，电汇，和支票。也请大家帮忙把链接发布出去。

You can donate to help the people who are suffering from the 7.9-magnitude earthquake in Sichuan. Please donate here: http://tsinghuafoundation.org/earthquake08/index.html

四川地震

Mon, 12 May 2008 18:32:14 GMT

昨夜2点突然听说四川7.9级地震。今晨看到死亡人数竟已近9千，且还在上升。蛋蛋说都江堰市5层以上建筑全部被毁。5个月前才到过都江堰市，如今竟已成瓦砾？

希望所有我认识的人平安。也想说希望所有我不认识的人们也平安。可是面对近万人的伤亡数字，我的意愿何其无力。

四川，我为你哭泣，我为你祈祷，我还能为你做些什么？

如果有知道哪里可以捐助救灾的，烦请告知。多谢。

擂台经济学

Sat, 03 May 2008 19:09:33 GMT

何勇在《钟鼓楼》里唱道：“你的声音我听不见，现在太吵太乱。我已经等了这么长的时间，你怎么还不发言？是谁出的题这么的难啊？到处全都是正确答案。”最近的题大多如此。每个人的答案都不一样，偏偏每个人都觉得自己的是唯一正确的答案，别人都是脑残。

王三表张嘴闭嘴傻B脑残。我可以理解，但绝不赞赏。关于话语权的问题以前我仔细想过，至今立场不变。不管水平是否有限，立场是否公正，不能不让人说话。这事的两个极端是两种危险。一种是满世界吵得人头昏，谁的话也听不见。另一种是死寂一片，有敢说话的一剂哑药灌下去先。实际情况通常是somewhere in between。不过趋向某种极端的程度跟出发点有很大关系。总之，我宁愿头昏。

我看问题比较中庸。自己有立场的，听听对方的意见；自己没立场的，听听各方的意见。不管哪一种情况，试试站在他人的立场上理解他/她的感受。耳根子软的人如果又信奉兼听则明，往往就变了个糊涂滥好人。我很有这种潜质。所以我写不了时评。我写东西象跟人喝茶聊天，三言两语就“大家都有道理”起来。写时评更象摆擂台，得在切磋和胜负之间找平衡。摆擂台的骂人多半是技巧和修为问题，无关人品态度。

摆擂台分心态。一种是诚心诚意拿自己的家伙什儿出来想与人切磋的。一种是觉得自己很牛B，站出来扬名立万的。我觉得写时评的绝大多数是想与人切磋，起码一开始是。擂台摆久了常胜不败，也可能向成名蜕化。打擂台的也分，有真想切磋的，有谁都不服的，有成心找人打架的。最好的情况是俩诚心切磋的对上了，能碰出思想的火花。过招的各有进益，有心的看客也有收获。不过恐怕大多数时候，打擂台的里谁都不服的和成心打架的多。擂主一开始还能架起高手风范，见招拆招，虚心应对。久而久之，不胜其烦，免不了换上山贼面孔，喝一声“脑残！”，抡刀砍翻了再说。和菜头说苦口婆心不如刻薄讽刺经济，大概就是这个道理。

不过说“把对方掐着脖子，按在墙上，狠狠羞辱一番效果是最好的”，我不大同意。当真高手，该飞花摘叶，制人于无形。再拍拍晚辈肩膀，温言点拨鼓励。效果应该一样。不经济，才是真的原因。只是，山贼面孔用多了，别就成了自己的本相。到时候想切磋的也不上门，怕是更大的不经济。这之间的平衡是学问和历练。从这方面比，和菜头王三表高下立判。

关于两条小道消息

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 01:45:38 GMT

接连出了两条不大“小道”的消息。Bjork闯祸了，汤唯被封杀了。

对Bjork的事没什么可说的。Bjork是我热爱了十几年的歌手。但我不想为她分辩。也没什么可分辩的。好象她这个independence的trick不是第一次玩。也不是第一次惹麻烦。她就这德性嘛。去年在Mountain View看她演出。最后唱的也是这首《Declare Independence》。不记得她当时有没有也放炮。我只记得这首歌很煽情。四十多岁的比大姐依然欢蹦乱跳，张牙舞爪。她想表达的多是狂放和自由的感觉。才不管别人怎么想。

Bjork未必那么关心或者了解政治，但这不妨碍她对事情有自己的看法。现在网上骂她和保她的也未必了解政治，但这也不妨碍他们骂她或保她。没什么本质区别。区别是她是明星，当着无数观众玩了把去你妈的。Bjork是个真正的艺术家。艺术家多少得有点混不懔。社会需要几个这样的刺头。但中国现在还不太接受这个。搁头几年我可能会觉得这是中国的不幸，现在我觉得这就是中国的现状，正常。社会总在变化，过两年可能会不一样。没什么幸与不幸的。唯一不幸的是中国的歌迷，从此看外国乐队演出的机会大概要少了。不知道Bjork懂不懂这里的道道。她大概不会care。

就这么屁大点愿打愿挨的事，没什么可说的。

汤唯的事情不一样。这件事我的立场很明确：汤唯没错，凭什么封杀？！

什么美化汉奸，宣扬淫秽，简直是些莫须有的罪名。懂不懂什么叫艺术作品？这么个搞法，大家只有回去看样板戏了，还他妈让不让人活？纯是一群脑子进水的混蛋。头几年有口水淹死章子怡，往前还有封杀姜文，再往前还有崔健。这么多年下来怎么就没什么长进呢？如果说Bjork的事印证了中国的现状，汤唯的事就揭示了我们在某些方面还停留在20年前。社会进程的某一点态也许无所谓幸与不幸，但20年停滞不前实在令人悲哀。

北京——印象·影像

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:12:32 GMT

这次回去对北京印象不错。相比一年半前，干净齐整了不少。人的素质也大大提高。可惜时间太短了，只能得个粗粗印象。

一是出租车。的干净漂亮了，的里不让抽烟，的哥们也都倍儿礼貌。没碰上过拒载啥的，还都打表。就有一回的哥忘了打表。到了地儿一劲儿埋怨自己，让我看着给，挺痛快。

二是地铁。因为省钱加环保，这次我们的原则是多坐地铁少打的。北京的地铁如今好哇。多了两条线，便宜了一半，好象也没以前挤了。更邪门的是，多次见大家排队等车。真让我不适应。听说每月（每周？）有一天有人管着排队。以期强制生习惯，习惯成自然。不过大多数时候，车一进站队就散了。总有几个不自觉的往前挤，逼着大家向下取齐。看来制度晋文化的路还很长啊。

三是街道，都干净多了。虽然好多地方还在修，但没我想的那么嘈乱。只是随地吐痰还多。头一天我就看见六个。是工人农民小资产阶级，姑娘和民警，全民吐痰啊。

还有的印象就是北京的贫富差距依旧。从市中心往外一环一环都有细微差别。除了衣着光鲜度平均值逐环递减（至三环止，四环回升），每一处的标准方差也大。

在北京没转多少地方。忙忙叨叨几天不知怎么就过完了。听说新建的国家大剧院好。不过票太俏了买不到。去了趟也是新建的首都博物馆。内容主要是关于北京的历史文化。虽然是一个城市级博物馆，馆藏和服务都很不错。设施更是有国际水准。卖纪念品的地方服务员在踢毽子，算是中国特色吧。踢得极好，一点不惹厌。

还去了趟中国美术馆。怕有十几年没去了吧。不知怎么觉得小了许多。看惯了Metropolitan和National Gallery，觉得美术馆作为中国国家艺术馆是太弱了点。该扩建了。可能时间不巧，好多展室都在布展，没开。只有一个当代油画展和一个人物肖像画展。油画展也罢了，大多是走中西合璧的路线。象纽约三藩画廊里的东西。没什么太新鲜的。倒是肖像展有看头。世情百态，风格各异。看着又陌生又亲切。

从美术馆出来，遛遛跶跶一不小心进了南锣鼓巷。才发现这儿现在一街的酒吧和咖啡馆。而且都挺有风格的那种。里面人不多，尽是老外。恍惚觉得象在Dinkytown。一溜儿下去，还有无数的咖啡馆在装修。看来这地界儿是下一个热点。相比之下，烟袋斜街和后海就显得落败了。听说现在正火的是工体，可惜没时间去踩踩盘子。实在是抽不出空了。在北京一共五个晚上，只在家吃了一顿晚饭。等下回吧。

就这么几个晚上，还浪费了一个。本来是想看孟京辉的《两只狗的生活意见》。电话查询时说有票，就大意了。等慢慢悠悠到东方先锋剧场早就没票了。退而求其次，去人艺随便挑了个《预言、寓言》。一个字，烂。一个并不新的idea加上更糟的剧本和制作。戏完了居然有中国地震局的领导上来讲话。我倒！发誓以后不在人艺看“实验”话剧。

噢，清华当然要回。没找熟人，也早没熟人了，就四处转转。上次去是夏天，冬天的清华有快十年没见了。打车从南门到十字路口，走二校门、学堂、草坪、礼堂、图书馆、荷塘、荒岛。听说二校门也快晋封文物古迹了。不知道我在宿舍墙上刻的字啥时候得个碧纱笼？十年的光景在清华这地方只当打个水漂。不光肃穆的学堂，冰封的荷塘没变，连宿舍楼前的自行车也还是一样破。唉，只物是人非，催人泪下啊。咦？别急着哭老，再仔细看看。怎么好象人也没变多少？老子我放学生堆里怕还能往图书馆里混。真TNND哭笑不得。

海拔3500

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:01:48 GMT

因气流状况飞机不能着陆，几百游客在九寨机场困住了。海拔3500米氧气稀薄，不适应的呆上一会就昏昏沉沉。我们两个还好，只是冻得够呛。眼看飞机起飞时间没什么着落，蛋黄和我打起了小算盘。机场网络氧吧，48元一个人，有暖气，能吸氧，管咖啡，直到飞机起飞。要是一直不飞，几个小时下来，象蛋黄这样的咖啡壶，能喝个够本。哈哈，值。

网吧不大。游客大多没在上网。横爬竖卧的一片。时有外面晕倒了的被抬了进来紧急吸氧。一片混乱之余，会有人溜进来，会有小姐慌忙地拦住受费，会吵吵闹闹地算15分钟吸氧时间怎么算，好不热闹。

网很慢，中文又用不顺手，想写九寨沟游记是不可能了。等回成都再报。

在路上

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 09:38:17 GMT

终于上路了。从两个星期前决定回国一趟，一直忙个没停。直到上路了，我这个慢热型的才觉得有点兴奋起来。

又一次从三藩机场出发，熟门熟路地。开始有了离家的感觉。离这个家，回那个家。一年又一年，那个家的概念渐渐模糊，却依然温暖。

在机场Cafe排队买水。后面一位墨西哥大叔东张西望地，有点急的样子。排了两分钟，大叔忍不住拉了我问，“Are you going to Mexico City?”。我不禁笑了摇头。“I'm going home.”，“Me too.”。急归急，墨西哥大叔的笑容很是敦厚温暖。

又一次过成田机场，怎么觉得好象比以前大了些。可人还是塞得满满的。每次过成田都是一样的感觉，亚洲＝人气。还有，一过东京，空姐的身材啊，脸上的feature啊一下都小了一号。相比之下，蛋黄的头真的挺大...

一路上，日本空姐跟我说日文，中国空姐跟我说英文，还好美国空姐没跟我说中文。阿甘说，空姐就象一盒巧克力，you never know what you are gonna get。

"the human race has civilized itself"

Fri, 21 Sep 2007 20:38:46 GMT

Some random news clips that are a loosely related:

In Washington state, a city found a new weapon to fight the street crime. In places where the gangsters often gather, like train station, they started playing classical music instead of the usual pop tunes. And that's proven to be quite effective driving the gangsters away! I'm really curious what classical music they pick. I bet it's not Beethoven. Mozart, maybe? Oh, I know, it must be Brahms, at least it'll drive me away.

In Thailand, the latest punishment for the police officers who violated rules is to force the guy wear a cute pink Hello Kitty badge when he's on duty. It was largely considered a very cruel punishment and also has been proven very effective. No comment.

A state in the US started an experiment where the government buys good behavior from the young kids. Do homeworks on time, $5; do community service, $10; pass a state exam, $500... A kid can earn up to $3000 a year if he be the good boy that his parents failed to turn him into with all their love and hard work. Dollars and cents, sadly, dollars and cents, everything has a price. Although I hope I don't have to buy that from my kid, I wish we had that kind of system when I grew up, at least I'd get paid for being beaten up and behave.

Last, here's a website that you can anonymously send your secret to and they'll post it for you. Interesting way to get rid of that urge to tell people about the emperor's donkey ear.

PostSecret

13345 Copper Ridge Road

Germantown, Maryland

USA 20874-3454

born in 1989 (US)

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 20:48:40 GMT

"We were born in 1989. So in our lifetime, the Berlin Wall has never stood. And we never saw Johnny Carson live on TV. To us, hip-hop has always been mainstream, and MTV never played music videos in prime time. Water might come from a faucet, but our generation drinks it from a bottle. And we never rolled down the car window, or used a computer without a mouse. In our lifetime, Nelson Mandela has always been free. We learned about JFK from Oliver Stone, and Malcolm X from Spike Lee. On our TVs, Fox has always been a major network; and we've never known a world without Bart. We get our news from the Comedy Central. And, an autobiography has always been instant, thanks to the web, which for us has always existed."

I wonder what the Chinese version of this should be like...

便秘的和不便秘的

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 11:39:55 GMT

马尔克斯有云：“世界分为便秘的人和不便秘的人”。小时候读到此处，仿佛看到马老大手挥过长空，宇宙顿时二分：左边的都便秘，右边的都不便秘。真是佩服得五体投地。其实这话微言大义，那会儿哪里看明白了。不过对这句话印象深刻，早上如厕，常庆幸自己在右边。念叨了十几年，渐渐觉得有点明白马老的意思了。

乍一看这话把人分两类，有歧视之嫌。其实马老只是讲了个道理：便秘的人和不便秘的人眼中的世界完全是两码事。说白了，就是白天不懂夜的黑。我曾与便秘人士多年共同生活及探讨人生。约略了解一些关于富含纤维素的蔬菜是神最伟大的发明，开塞露是人最伟大的发明之类的哲学问题。一个左的朋友说，一天决定性的时刻在早晨那一会儿。熬过那一会儿，我就能象你一样正常生活。否则万事皆休。噢，对了，千万别装作你能了解我的痛苦，因为你不能。

明白了这个道理是一种解脱。我不再试图去了解别人的不同，因为我不能，precisely。还因为宣称了解别人是件很傲慢的事。我开始学着理解不同这件事本身。除了便秘的和不便秘的，世界还分为男人和女人；中国人和外国人；同性恋和异性恋，等等。不过归根结底，世界分为相信这句话的人和不相信这句话的人。

悲伤

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 08:07:43 GMT

今年不知怎么了，杨德昌才去了没多久，Ingmar Bergman 和 Michelangelo Antonioni 竟又在同一天辞世。不知是约了同走黄泉路呢，还是两个老小憋着当年 Bergman 对 Antonioni 的几句评论没完没了一直到死？

一天之内先是听说 Minneapolis 的桥塌了，又听说歿了两个导演。禁不住悲伤。天王老子，升斗小民，棋快的，棋慢的，终究棋输了。

500000000000000000000

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:25:00 GMT

After 18 years hard work with the help of 200 computers, guys in the University of Alberta, Canada, told the world that they had "solved" checkers. Yes, the game checkers, is, solved, period. Their computer now knows every single move that can possibly be made in a checkers game. The only thing left to do on the checkers board is to convert it to digits and feed it to the computer.

With that, all the fun we had playing checkers has been scientifically proven to be foolishly in vain. But, who cares? It's so trivial anyway, compared to the 500000000000000000000 (5 x 10²⁰) positions that the computer had to calculate. However, that number itself isn't that significant either. "Clearly ... the world is not going to be revolutionized", said the guys themselves.

So what will it take to change the world? According to some popular science garbage, the estimated number of possible chess positions in a 40 move game is anywhere between 10⁴⁰ and 10¹³⁴, the estimated number of Go moves is 10⁷⁶¹, and the number of particles in the whole universe is 10⁷⁷, versus the 32 pieces of chess or 361 pieces of Go. So theoretically, if we can play chess, we can play God, errrrrr, given enough time. All we need to do is to push that button, and wait...
and wait...
and wait...
and wait...

42, that's the answer.

网络私生活

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 00:56:56 GMT

前两天三表写了篇“文化私生活”。碰巧今天有个同事不小心在公司内网上 share 了他的 iTunes library，让我把他的文化私生活观摩了个够。观摩完了，还一片真诚地跑去提醒他。他黑脸泛红，一边找怎么 disable sharing，一边支支吾吾地问我有没有看到什么感兴趣的。嘿嘿，你说呢？

其实这年头想保持点儿 privacy 也不难。比如这位老兄，只要别把 iPod 往网上挂就行。不过 iPod 不上 iTunes store 不好玩。干脆，别用 iPod，听 CD 得了。可刚在网上买两张 CD，又让 Amazon，Google 这帮孙子知道了，天天拿广告砸你。靠，都是网络惹的祸，咱改上 CD 店买 CD 去。可怎么好像 CD 店都要倒闭了呢？算了，不听音乐了，看电视。大概还能看几年吧？听说2015年就全数字电视了。到时候，保准你家的电视广告都是针对你那自以为没人知道的痔疮的。

个人私生活也好，文化私生活也罢，要有生活，多少得冒私不成的风险。一件事有多私，我觉得基本上跟其频度和参与人数的平方之乘积成反比：p=1/(f*h^2)，也就是 privacy = 1 over frequency multiplied by headcount squared。10多年前刚上网的时候，每天最多个把小时，地址薄里的 email 地址不过十数。那会儿还真觉着网络是个私密世界。到如今，这私生活已经成了生活的大部分。也不能再期望网上没人知道你是谁了。网络私生活依然存在，只是变成了网络生活的一小部分。随着数字化网络化横扫一切，生活和私生活的界限会被不断重新划分。关灯拉窗帘的难度恐怕也会越来越大。得有个做 trade off 的心理准备呐。

又及，今天在keso那儿看到厦门强制实名，有点无话可说。咱伟大祖国又走在世界前列啦？嘿嘿，私不私的选择权，恐怕永远是个人和机构之间的必争之地。这事且没完呐。

呃，还是你贵好了

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 21:49:03 GMT

I guess Beijing/Shanghai are more expensive after all, since San Francisco didn't even make to the top 50 of Mercer's list of the most expensive cities in the world 2007.

1: Moscow (what?!)
2: London
3: Seoul
4: Tokyo
5: Hong Kong
......
13: Paris
14: Singapore
15: New York
20: Beijing
26: Shanghai
42: Los Angeles
54: San Francisco

试问新龟，归可贵？

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:25:13 GMT

我朋友多在两岸三地：北京，北加，南加。好象都觉得生活艰难。这篇是国内的朋友转过来的。出不出，归不归，到底你贵还是我贵？

美国物价 VS 中国物价（转发）：

美国和中国，两个超级大国，我都住过，我都呆过，我都挣过钱，我都花过钱。咱不拿比率说事，就说在中国月入八千，在美国也月入八千，拿物价做一个比较。

在美国买辆奔驰E-320，50000 元，相当于半年多的工资。
在中国买辆奔驰E-320，980000 元，相当于十年多的工资。

在美国买双意大利皮鞋，50 元上下。
在中国买双意大利皮鞋，1500 元上下。

在美国租一套三居室，1000 元上下。
在中国租一套三居室，2000 元上下。

在美国吃份麦当劳的巨无霸，4 元。
在中国吃份麦当劳的巨无霸，20 元。

在美国置套好点儿的西服，500 块差不多了。
在中国置套好点儿的西服，2000 块还不够。

在美国买台苹果G5计算机，顶死了1500。
在中国买台苹果G5计算机，怎么也要 30000。

在美国买斤瘦猪肉，三元。
在中国买斤瘦猪肉，十元。

在美国订一个大生日蛋糕：二十元。
在中国订一个大生日蛋糕：二百元。

在美国买一课哈根达斯，三块！
在中国买一课哈根达斯，六十！

在美国 Holiday Inn, 七、八十块。
在中国 Holiday Inn, 七、八百块。

在美国加满一箱汽油，三十块足够。
在中国加满一箱汽油，三百块也足够。

在美国买套250平米的房子，差不多要花 50 万。
在中国买套250平米的房子，差不多要花 250 万。

在美国办一年的有效签证，120 元。
在中国办一年的有效签证，1240 元。

在美国用手机，一个月50块基本可以随便打。
在中国用手机，一个月5000块基本可以随便打。

在美国看电影；新大片儿： 8块！
在中国看电影；新大片儿： 50！

在美国买件羊绒衫，差不多100元。
在中国买件羊绒衫，差不多1000元。

愿爸爸平安

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 01:19:50 GMT

爸爸今天作手术。虽然都说不会有事，还是不免担心。这种时候有点羡慕有宗教信仰的人，有个神拜一拜多少心安。不过我不是个彻底的无神论者，这一念之想还是要的。愿爸爸平安。

奥斯卡

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 07:55:42 GMT

看奥斯卡的时候没往年那么有感觉。大概因为今年楹楹父母在，没怎么看电影。提名多的只看了Little Miss Sunshine和Pan's Labyrinth。我觉着这两个该拿的都拿了，不该拿的也都没拿。算是没什么意外。

Martin Scorsese终于得奖了。今年导演提名一个也没看，不知道评得公不公。老Martin点儿好像比较背。90年说Good Fellas不如Dances with Wolves还有情可原，03年说Gangs of New York不如Return of the King可真让我难以接受。这回还好，总算熬到老马了。加上Departed是翻拍无间道，咱那点儿民族虚荣心也多少满足。楹楹爸爸问Departed怎么翻译，我觉得大概是道不同，或者分道扬镳。上网一查，国内叫无间道风云。看来咱盗版人家不能说，人家来抄咱们咱可得在嘴边挂几年。

奥斯卡补习班作业：

Babel

Blood Diamond

Departed（虽然楹楹不爱看无间道，这下我有充分的理由喽）

Letters from Iwo Jima

The Lives of Others

The Queen

Volver（很喜欢Pedro Almodovar，虽然这个提名不多，无论如何是要看的）

噢，Lumiere放提名的短片，一直到周四。湾区的朋友要看的抓紧。

此时彼时

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 00:23:51 GMT

今天看到李银河的“最新决定”。当年的王小波，今天的李银河。出世入世，此时彼时。

竟无话可说。

2/9：后面又有一篇“关于犬儒主义”的帖子。对犬儒主义的分析是精辟，扯来解释自己的决定就多少有点牵强无奈。真正的犬儒主义并不闭口缄言，似乎也就不大安全。两篇看下来觉得李老师很是挣扎。理想主义弃而不甘，倒是有点像我辈庸人了。

2/25：今儿李老师又谈“ 我为什么不是英雄”。我觉得这篇很中肯。三篇帖子说一件事。绕了个大圈子回到了不绕圈子，倒是挺有意思。

有权作傻B

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 08:21:24 GMT

继续思考有权不保持沉默的问题，觉得自己前两天说的不对，至少是没说全。沉默不沉默，是是否行使话语权的问题。作不作傻B，是如何行使话语权的问题。作傻B虽然于社会无益，也还是个人的权利。只要不侵犯别人的权利，作傻B的权利一样神圣不可侵犯。如果要在没人有权作傻B和人人选择作傻B之间挑一样，两害相权取其轻，我选后者。因为如果不给人作傻B的权利，马上就涉及谁来决定谁是傻B的问题。一来二去，很快就又只有老大哥能说话了。智慧的进化如同生物进化，需要diversity。中国现在虽然还像个顺民窝，毕竟有了慢慢不再像个顺民窝的可能。归根结底，得感谢我们来之不易的话语权。
当然，最好人人行使不沉默的权利，放弃作傻B的权利。不过这是水平问题，可以期许，不能强求。比如我最近不大沉默，也就免不了要经常作傻B。所以，得给自己留条后路呐。

有权不保持沉默

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 18:33:06 GMT

看了三表的“小崔去安源”，有一段写得好：“在你对一件事情发表看法的时候，首先你想到的是，我有权发表看法；其次你该想到的是，我有没有能力去发表看法？第三，你是否学会发表看法的方式？很多人只想到第一种，没想到第二、三种。当你...没有能力又不会发表看法，然后又发表了看法，结果，你就是傻B，做傻B就这么简单”。
关于有权不保持沉默的问题一直没想通。自己选择沉默，是因为：1.脑子不够大，怕作傻B；2.骨头不够硬，怕傻B。但是一个人人都沉默的社会是个顺民窝，有中国历史为证。如今看起来有点矫枉过正，好象大家都不沉默了。可吵吵归吵吵，总觉着中国还是象个顺民窝。敢情是不沉默没到点儿上，精力都花在作傻B上了。不沉默到点儿上的也有，可精力都花在应付傻B上了。三表就很有成为后者的危险。
最近看多了三表说单口相声，有点腻。看了这段有脑子有骨头的文字才想起来为什么成了三表的粉丝。蛋蛋推荐有功。

Homosexuality and Evolution

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 01:37:50 GMT

Does the evolution theory imply that homosexuality, being un-reproductive, is against the improvement of human race? I don't think so. Since the modern day evolution is more about the collective intellectual progress of a race or a nation instead of its collective physical survival, and over-reproduction may link to a lower survival rate and certainly lower standard of life, homosexuality may actually improve the chance of survival of a race or a nation, that is, of course, if the "mainstream" society appreciates their intellectual contribution.
The interesting thing is, religion used to lead the campaign against homosexuality, now they outsource the job to Darwin? When did these two become good neighbors? Enemy's enemy is my friend?

To shrink, or not to shrink

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:25:55 GMT

昨晚上蛋蛋三更不睡，爬起来跟我谈人生。chat两小时后此人不无恶毒地建议我业余去作shrink。嘿嘿，三年前已经有人给我上过同样的套，我可不上当了。
小时候对psychology感兴趣，是被我哥害的。他当年想学这玩意儿，好像因我妈阻挠未果（妈甚有远见也）。家里扔着几本我哥志向的残骸，不知如今还在不在。两年前关于搞shrink这事我真动过心，特买了Psychology 101的课本准备自学成财。翻了几十页就搁下了。不是内容枯燥艰深，只是前言写得吓人。“学psychology投入产出比高。没个十年八年出不得师，出了师也挣不了几个钱。”作者大概是想大浪淘沙，肃清shrink队伍。果然三句两句我这样意志不坚的就撤了。
shrink没作成，倒是觉得自己的职业选择范围shrink了。真是越老越跳不出这越老越不值钱的engineer圈。这事很悖。想了几年也没想通，如今还惑着。

Old stuffs - My Favorite Things

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 19:58:20 GMT

It's kind of interesting how these things took a place in our lives. Hidden somewhere in the memory, vaguely, there might have been such a scene in some late summer evening, some music was playing across the street, neighbor's girl was telling some story which you didn't understand, some name was spelled as she waved the end of the day. There were these sparkles flying, invisible, delightful, like a gentle touch of summer breeze. In the dimness, a flash of beauty and eternity shivered through. Not until many many years later you would know, that touch never fade.

Well, don't know if that's how I started. Can't really recall, don't really care. The important thing is, somewhere somehow, you had a peek at the beauty and eternity. Then you may feel kind of being driven, there's such a mystery out there, much bigger, much better, I've just got to get hold of a piece of it, no matter how briefly, that would make my life so much lighter, yet so much... less trivial.

The other day I was talking to someone. She's like, "What's the point of reading a book?" Well, what's the point? I don't know, I can't tell you. There might be no point at all, it might even don't need a point. How can I expect a specific point from something without feeling it's boring? "The beauty of human nature is, we can enjoy something without really understand it." a friend said so. That, is the point.

U2 had a song, something like this, "life is beautiful, life is perfect, full of beauty, opportunity, and television, and surprises, lots of surprises." God, I love U2. Although I didn't like the "television" part when I first listened to it, later on I found I had to agree with them. There's always entertainment. Television, music, movie, why I have to put them into categories of meaningful and meaningless?

"Open the book, there's always something worth reading." Says the ancient Chinese.

哼哼唧唧

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 08:13:03 GMT

33岁那年，我决定不再作一个blog处男。楹楹鼓励我说：每个人都在blog上呐喊。可我只会哼哼唧唧。最快捷的办法莫过炒冷饭。把以前umn上的陈芝麻烂谷子都搬过来。意犹未尽，又把Application写完。这叫一个爽：今儿，我博过啦！

哼唧完了才有点儿回过味儿来，好像这已经是我2006年第三次起搏了。不知道什么时候丢了这点儿心气，藏在“沉默的一小撮”的大旗后面懵懵懂懂起来。鱼与熊掌之间，转眼又是一年。不禁笑笑，嘿嘿，起搏的次数又可以从头开始数啦。

Old stuffs - Random Thoughts

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 06:57:42 GMT

01/17/05

I woke up with a gigantic headache, a knife cutting through my fragile existence and making it impossible to ignore. In a day like this, the whole purpose of my being became waiting, waiting for the 250mg aspirin to do its job. In the afternoon, the aspirin started kicking in. In the wave of nausea and numbness, I tried to stay focused as I drove back home. The 4pm sunshine was pouring down from the southwest, shedding a dreamy goldenness on the city's skyline. My whole consciousness began to take back its territory while the headache retreated. Every single bit of my life started surfacing, shaking, so powerless yet so overwhelming. And I drove toward downtown, toward half million loners. They all had their bits to face, and they all shared the same sunshine.

12/08/04

That person in my dream, is he who I was? Or who I will be? Who I want to be? Or who I ought to be?
One thing for sure, he seemed happy.

8/26/04

I read Buddha a little poem last night.
"Hmmm, whiskey and woman with sexy voice, I like it, it's not my field though, you know..." He pondered for a bit then said.
I didn't know what to say.
"But, what is it?" He asked, almost timidly.
"What it is, is that I lost it. You know, that." I pointed to my chest.
"Oh... you did? Hmm..." Buddha sighed, "That's not too good, boy, not too good..."
I hate it when he gives me that sympathetic look, especially when I'm getting a lot of it from him.
"You know what? The good thing is, I don't feel any pain anymore..." I paused, hesitating, "... the bad thing is, they are still there, I just can't feel them."
"Yeah I know, I know..." Sure, he's seen it all.
Then we were speechless.
"When you snatch it back from the total voidness, let me know..." finally he said, "We have an opening of associate Buddha, you'd be a good fit then." 9/11/01

When I was a child I was dreaming about 21st century, people all lives a happy and peaceful life. Spaceships are all over the sky and we go wherever we want.
This is 21st century now. It's still bomb against bomb, war against war, hatred against hatred. And we are going nowhere except trying to conquer our neighbors. The animal side seems to dominate forever.
"We haven't changed, since ancient time."

7/27/01

We were sitting in our patio up there, looking at the beautiful world down on the earth.
"I still want to play another round.", you said.
"I know."
"This time you be the boy."
"En, then I'll go first."
So I jumped...

That was 28 years ago.

1/28/01

When I realized it's too late to turn back, I felt so released. There's no way out of it anymore, so I could face it no matter what it is. I only need to worry about how to make it right, not about the result. It's so good having no choice.

1/20/01

A real good book makes you heavier, your life lighter.

12/2/00

It's Saturday morning in Minnesota's winter, shinny but cold like hell. I was driving along Como Ave when I saw this guy at the corner, waiting for the bus with a big smile frozen on his face. He stood there under the dazzling sunshine, wearing that perfect smile, that unreal smile. For a while I was wondering, was the smile frozen by the sunshine, or by the coldness?

10/5/00

Memory is not like a piece of image in your mind. Memory, the real memory, is a tunnel to the past. Most time it's music; sometimes it's light and color; sometimes it's temperature or touch; at times when it's so strong that it makes you dizzy, it's the scent. Sometimes, it just came as it is. But whenever you find the tunnel, you go back, the whole piece of you, physically and mentally.
That memory is a precious gift. A few people can really grab it and their arts pass that tunnel around.
That enlightened me.

6/10/00

Which one is real courage? To keep control or to lose control?
Which one is more shameful? To be crazy or to be ashamed of being crazy?

4/10/00

"Work like you don't need the money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like no one is watching."

9/15/99

Discussion with Wilson about soulmate:
We like to imagine there is someone ready to be our soulmate, kind of beautiful fate. But I guess that's not how it works. Things change. You have someone at one moment doesn't mean this person will keep being the one for the lifetime. Any ...mate is a relationship, based on a certain period of time. You can't find a relationship, you can only build one and keep it.

9/2/99

Some people always live in a certain time, certain period, they can hardly catch up with the reality, the pop and fashion. No matter how I changed to get used to this end of 20th century, my innermost feeling just sticks to an old time. Only those music or novels can touch me and drive me crazy. Sometimes that really makes me feel getting old, especially when other people is just so comfortable with the new stuffs, lucky bastards.

1/1/07 - Heard about a theory that people's taste freezes up around age 27. That's just about when this happened to me. Fortunately it didn't get any worse. I mean, it didn't really freeze, it just slows down.

6/24/99

Before, the fire was inside, it could burn through you but did not;
Now, the fire is underneath, when it comes again it burns you out. 4/28/99

My friend got off at his stop, I forgot to say goodbye. Whatever, I thought, I'll see him again anyway. Then it occured to me: if life is a trip, friend is probably the guy sitting next to you. Don't expect he will always be there, though it could happen. The important thing is: always have someone by your side, and enjoy the conversation while you can.

4/17/99

At the end of the first paragraph of "The Lover", Marguerite Duras wrote:"Again, I became a novelist..." Now I understand the feeling. Suddenly something returns to you, as vivid as before, like you never forget or abandon.

On Every Street

Sat, 17 Jun 2006 18:48:53 GMT

Saturday afternoon, Tel Aviv. Streets, the narrow ones, the old ones, the quiet ones, those full of trees, those full of shops, and those full of small apartment buildings side by side. I sat outside a tiny home style Jewish restaurant, smoking a cigarrett after the beautifully delicious but over-sized beef tongue dish. It's the Sabbath, the holy lazy day, not too many people on the street, and they all look quite lazy indeed. All of sudden I felt I was back in Beijing, still the teenage boy looking out of the window in a Sunday afternoons, feeling powerlessly hopeful. I guess now I know, that boy was happy, and he could never forget that afternoon.

Drove down to Jaffa, 10 minutes south from Tel Aviv. Streets, dirty ones, shabby ones, dirty ones, shabby ones, those with some shops, closed shops. Not too many people around. The images of Tel Aviv and Jaffa became blurry in my mind. I began to sink, down, down, down. Sad, almost panic. Is Tel Aviv more like Beijing, or Jaffa? Or is Tel Aviv a memory that I want, and Jaffa that I have? What is my childhood like? Beijing is so different now, you won't recognize it, that Beijing tourist told me yesterday. Where is my past then?

Drove back Herziliya, fancy hotel, sandy beach, beautiful people in swimming suits. The outsider drove up and down the hotel parking lot, couldn't find a spot. San Francisco, so far away. Always so far away from home, on every street.